install theme

"That’s what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you’re not so lovable."

- (via whitenes-s)

(Source: quotes-shape-us)

"I was not told that what you were doing was wrong
growing up I was told “boys will be boys”
and growing up my brother got away with hitting me
so I thought nothing of it when you did
you told me you loved me
you told me you loved me
you told me you loved me
you said that I could never tell anyone
because they’d try to tear us apart
since I was a stupid girl
and you were a manipulative boy
I believed you and I didn’t say a word.
when I went home with a black eye I told my mother
“I’m just really good at keeping my eye on the ball”
so she sighed and gave me a bag of frozen peas.
the days turned intto months and the months into two years
two years filled with things I cant forget
two years where my self-worth began to disintegrate
and eventually I was only worth the bruises, blood and
creepy kisses you left on my cheeks
but you told me that you loved me
you loved me
you loved me
that’s what I wanted to hear
so I accepted it because nobody had told me differently
you took me to your house when your parents weren’t home
and asked me to take off my clothes
I said no
I said no
I said no
I didn’t think it was a good idea
although health class hadn’t taught me much
it did teach me that sex made babies
and an eighth grader wasn’t ready for that
but you didn’t take no for an answer
your voice got louder and your words became convincing and
your fists clenched tighter as I imagined them around my throat so eventually
I said yes
because I had not been taught that my body belonged to me
it belonged to me
it belonged to me
and I thought it was yours because you said you loved me
you said you loved me
as your toxic fingers touched me and
my tears stained your white pillow cases
and when it was over you told me that I had ruined your experience
and told me to go home
and I believed that was love
because nobody ever taught me to run away from blood and bruises
and kisses that left me wanting to drown in bleach
they never told me that my body was mine
regardless how much you claimed to be the only one to ever love me
they never said that what we were wasn’t love
it wasn’t love though
it wasn’t love
so when I have a child I will tell them what I was neglected to be told"

- (nobody ever told me) h.j.b (via extricationism)